Monthly Archives: February 2012

Go away, Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift is all that is wrong with the music industry. Her songs are monotonous guitar chords interwoven with superficial, petty lyrics, which happen to augment this concept that we should hate every person that breaks up with us.

I’d be a hypocrite if I said I don’t appreciate music that is inspired by failed love, because let’s be real, a lot of artists do this in an extraordinary way (Adele, Bon Iver, Cass McCombs). The subject certainly is not my issue with Swift’s music. My problem is how undeveloped her beliefs are (according to her lyrics, at least) on the subject, and the copious amounts of sympathy she gets from her fans.

Spoiler alert: she’s a beautiful, well-liked blonde celebrity in her early twenties. What exactly does Taylor Swift know about struggle? Has Taylor Swift ever scrolled through the contacts of her phone and had nobody to call? No. Has she ever waited for someone until finally grasping the fact she’s been stood-up? Probably not. One of the Jonas brothers was pretty mean to her – that’s what Taylor Swift knows about struggle.

I once argued with a girl in one of my classes about this very notion, and her case for Taylor was that she’s forced to face despair in a public spotlight because she’s a celebrity. That’s the most bullshit I’ve heard since I watched Barry Bonds testify in front of the Supreme Court. You know what’s even harder than being a celebrity?

Not being a celebrity.

Not only has this shallow attempt at illuminating past relationships earned Taylor a “sweetheart of the music industry” label, but she’s done it by brainwashing us all to believe these songs are a legitimate remedy to her heartbreak. If you were honestly over someone, would you write a song about him? If you really didn’t care about all the people that bashed your music, would you write lyrics directed at precisely those people? Our society is letting Taylor Swift throw a hissy fit towards anyone and everyone that intervenes with her artless view of the world.

One of the most common disapprovals of Swift’s music is the sameness of her songs. I don’t like hopping so easily on this train of hate because I truthfully don’t listen to Taylor Swift besides when her songs coincidentally play where I happen to be (which results in me instantly changing the music, if I have the proper jurisdiction). But from what I’ve heard, I wouldn’t disagree with a slight repetitiveness. Has there ever been a time where you heard a Taylor Swift song and had to think for more than two seconds, “wait, is this Taylor Swift?” Nope, you know immediately once you hear her wretched cries for attention.

Artists aren’t considered great because they were popular for a stretch of time. They become great by continuously making music that embodies a perception they have during that moment in time, and how successful they are at exemplifying that position. If an artist remains at the same angle for their whole career, either the music is bogus or the artist has refused to step outside a comfort zone. Both of those products make it hard to believe Taylor Swift has fared to remain acclaimed by so many fans and critics.

Fun Taylor Swift Fact: Her album, Fearless,contains thirteen tracks – twelve of which are about breaking up/getting together/falling in love.

But maybe that’s just me. Maybe I’m bitter because my life doesn’t seem as black-and-white as Taylor’s, or because I’ve been a shitty boyfriend before. Or maybe it’s because I was one of the few people who didn’t care when Kanye grabbed the microphone from her at the VMA’s (watch Beyoncé’s video and tell me it’s not better than T-Swifts, seriously) If you’re a Taylor Swift fan, send me some music – prove me wrong. I’m willing to give her another chance. But for right now, she’s a whiny, ungracious twenty-something year old that needs to be dumped a couple more times before she writes another song about it.

Gimme a call, Taylor – I’d be happy to ignore your calls and flirt with your friends.

Noah Fish



Filed under Music, Uncategorized